George Carlin Left Us Laughing
I was sorry to learn George Carlin died of heart complications at age 71 on Sunday.
By far, my most memorable Carlin routine is when he compared America’s national pastime, baseball to the National Football League.
Here’s a sampling:
``In football, you wear a helmet… in baseball, you wear cap’’
``Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?.... Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up. ‘’
``Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch… Football has the two-minute warning’’
It was a Carlin classic, to be sure, and one that makes me break into laughter every time I hear it.
Of course, you can’t think of the irreverent counterculture comic without calling to mind his controversial routine: ``7 Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television’’, first delivered on July 21, 1972, at Milwaukee’s Summerfest, leading to his arrest for violating obscenity laws. The charges were dismissed later that year.
As a tribute to the Bronx native’s classic, The Morning Delivery came up with ``Seven Things You Can’t Say To Certain People''
1.) One of seven things you can’t say to Jennifer Aniston: ``Hey Jenn, do you know any Hollywood actresses with tattoos you can set me up with?
2.) One of seven things you can’t say to James Carville: ``Mr. Carville, it must have been a hair-raising experience running Bill Clinton’s campaign?''
3.) One of seven things you can’t say to former Vice President Al Gore: ``Mr. Gore, can you explain the beauty of our Electoral College System?
4.) One of seven things you can’t say to Hillary Clinton. ``Duck!, Mrs. Clinton, I think we’re being hit with sniper fire’’!
5.) One of seven things you can’t say to former Vice President Dan Quayle: ``Mr. Quayle, how do you spell potatoe?
6.) One of seven things John McCain can’t say to Barack Obama? ``Sen. Obama, how about we settle this election bowling a few frames?
7.) One of seven things Barack Obama can’t say to John McCain? ``Say John, how about we take to the waves and go waterboarding this afternoon?
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
By far, my most memorable Carlin routine is when he compared America’s national pastime, baseball to the National Football League.
Here’s a sampling:
``In football, you wear a helmet… in baseball, you wear cap’’
``Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?.... Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up. ‘’
``Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch… Football has the two-minute warning’’
It was a Carlin classic, to be sure, and one that makes me break into laughter every time I hear it.
Of course, you can’t think of the irreverent counterculture comic without calling to mind his controversial routine: ``7 Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television’’, first delivered on July 21, 1972, at Milwaukee’s Summerfest, leading to his arrest for violating obscenity laws. The charges were dismissed later that year.
As a tribute to the Bronx native’s classic, The Morning Delivery came up with ``Seven Things You Can’t Say To Certain People''
1.) One of seven things you can’t say to Jennifer Aniston: ``Hey Jenn, do you know any Hollywood actresses with tattoos you can set me up with?
2.) One of seven things you can’t say to James Carville: ``Mr. Carville, it must have been a hair-raising experience running Bill Clinton’s campaign?''
3.) One of seven things you can’t say to former Vice President Al Gore: ``Mr. Gore, can you explain the beauty of our Electoral College System?
4.) One of seven things you can’t say to Hillary Clinton. ``Duck!, Mrs. Clinton, I think we’re being hit with sniper fire’’!
5.) One of seven things you can’t say to former Vice President Dan Quayle: ``Mr. Quayle, how do you spell potato
6.) One of seven things John McCain can’t say to Barack Obama? ``Sen. Obama, how about we settle this election bowling a few frames?
7.) One of seven things Barack Obama can’t say to John McCain? ``Say John, how about we take to the waves and go waterboarding this afternoon?
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
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