DNC Plots Hillary's Exit Strategy
Like a dinner guest who never knows when to leave, Hillary Clinton insists she’s not quite ready to turn out the lights, pledging to march on in seeking the Democratic nomination, despite the cards stacked against her.
Determined to unite the party and prepare for the general election against the presumed nominee, John McCain, The Democratic National Committee held an emergency closed-door session (in a smoke-free room) late last night, and came up with a strategy to convince Sen Clinton to gracefully bow out of the presidential race.
Some of the ideas put forth were leaked exclusively to The Morning Delivery
Here’s the short list.
1.) Threaten to euthanize Hillary and put her out of her misery
2.) After consulting with George McGovern, Hillary’s mother switches her support from her own daughter to Barack Obama
3.) DNC agrees to pick up her mounting campaign debt, if Hillary agrees to pump the gas of Democratic donor’s during a fundraising gas holiday blitz.
4.) Howard Dean confides to Hillary that if she doesn’t agree to drop out, her life might be in danger from sniper attacks.
5.) Hillary loses her bid to have the Florida and Michigan delegates seated at the convention this summer, but she and Katie Couric will be allowed to be seated on the morning talk show, The View, and gripe about the injustice of competing in a man’s world
6.) To make her feel like she’s still part of the democratic process, CNN’s Jonathan King allows Hillary to play around with his snazzy touch-screen election map
7.) Dr Phil agrees to counsel Hillary and explain why the superdelagates had a fear of commitment.
8.) As a way of easing the pain of being denied the presidency, Bill and Chelsea tell Hillary they will make it a practice to yell out: ``Hill To The Chief!’’ every time she walks into a room.
9.) Their backs to the wall, the DNC threatens to send Hillary on a one-way ticket to the moon with explicit instructions to NASA to blast``full steam ahead’’.
10.) DNC cooks up a deal with Iran that if they agree not to attack Israel with nuclear weapons, they will obliterate Hillary themselves.
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
Determined to unite the party and prepare for the general election against the presumed nominee, John McCain, The Democratic National Committee held an emergency closed-door session (in a smoke-free room) late last night, and came up with a strategy to convince Sen Clinton to gracefully bow out of the presidential race.
Some of the ideas put forth were leaked exclusively to The Morning Delivery
Here’s the short list.
1.) Threaten to euthanize Hillary and put her out of her misery
2.) After consulting with George McGovern, Hillary’s mother switches her support from her own daughter to Barack Obama
3.) DNC agrees to pick up her mounting campaign debt, if Hillary agrees to pump the gas of Democratic donor’s during a fundraising gas holiday blitz.
4.) Howard Dean confides to Hillary that if she doesn’t agree to drop out, her life might be in danger from sniper attacks.
5.) Hillary loses her bid to have the Florida and Michigan delegates seated at the convention this summer, but she and Katie Couric will be allowed to be seated on the morning talk show, The View, and gripe about the injustice of competing in a man’s world
6.) To make her feel like she’s still part of the democratic process, CNN’s Jonathan King allows Hillary to play around with his snazzy touch-screen election map
7.) Dr Phil agrees to counsel Hillary and explain why the superdelagates had a fear of commitment.
8.) As a way of easing the pain of being denied the presidency, Bill and Chelsea tell Hillary they will make it a practice to yell out: ``Hill To The Chief!’’ every time she walks into a room.
9.) Their backs to the wall, the DNC threatens to send Hillary on a one-way ticket to the moon with explicit instructions to NASA to blast``full steam ahead’’.
10.) DNC cooks up a deal with Iran that if they agree not to attack Israel with nuclear weapons, they will obliterate Hillary themselves.
-Bill Lucey
billlucey@bellsouth.net
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